I've "literally" had it!

Today I was listening to a few news programs that I regularly tune into when I’m working in the studio and following are three quotes, all of them heard “literally” just today!

“The FBI has literally been following these Russians since the Clinton administration.”

“The Knicks haven’t won a championship since I was literally in diapers.”

“I literally have no idea.”

I am tempted to write the acronym “WTF”... WTF! I am “literally” sick-and-tired of hearing the adverb “literally” used so indiscriminately! It’s literally driving me crazy. OK, that’s a bit hyperbolic. It’s not driving me crazy but has anyone else noticed how much people are using the adverb “literally”?

Just for fun, I “Googled” the word and the results were the expected dictionary-definition sites but also this: http://literally.barelyfitz.com/

It seems I’m literally not alone in my vexation! There’s an entire weblog dedicated to the overuse of the word “literally”! Check out the “best of” section – it’s hilarious.

So, I was inspired by this irksome word and wrote a little story. I literally just wrote it today!

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I was literally tied-up at Nordstrom’s today with the sales associate who literally refused to give me the price on the leather skirt I was looking to buy. So I literally got on my cell phone and called my friend Francesca who works nights at Nordstrom’s. Francesca was literally on her way in to work when I called and she laughed at me for calling her about a price. I said, “I know it’s crazy but I’ve literally been arguing with this woman for 15 minutes and she literally just walked away from me! Can you talk to management or something?”

“I’ll be in the store soon,” she said and then hung up.

Literally as soon as I hang up my boyfriend calls. I answered the phone but told him I couldn’t talk. He wanted to tell me about work or something and was literally so cranky I just hung up on him.

Then the sales associate came back – with her manager! This woman was literally over six feet so I literally had to strain my neck to look up at her. I think they were trying to intimidate me so I stood my ground.

As I was about to speak, she literally grabbed my arm and got real close in my face and said, “Is there a problem here, m’am?”

I was literally doing my best to control my anger when I said, “Of course there’s a problem…SIR! Your sales associate here literally refuses to give me the price of this skirt that I would like to purchase!”

The manager-woman looked down at me with an evil look on her face and said, in a literally evil voice, “If my sales associate has refused to offer you the price of an item, it is because she actually understands  how to use the adverb, ‘literally’, and wishes that you would literally disappear.”

I was SO angry that I literally threw that skirt right down on her feet and stormed out the door!