‘Tis the season…

…to turn on every light in the house at 4 pm because the sun sets at 4:12 pm.

…to wear 3 pairs of wool socks because my feet are frozen sculptures with toe-shaped icicles on the ends.

…to go to bed at 8 pm because it feels like 11 pm because it’s been dark for four hours already.

…to “hold it” for as long as possible while in bed at night because the trip down the hall to the bathroom will re-freeze my feet.

…to search for jobs in Honolulu.

…to let the car warm-up for 20 minutes even though the trip will only take five minutes.

…to use “full serve” instead of “self serve” at the pump because four minutes standing in the wind-tunnel-bay at the gas station will insta-freeze my tears, which makes driving unsafe due to the frozen saline encrusted on my eyelids. And my hands, while gloved, still suffer the same fate as my feet.

…to be thankful for a fenced-in yard to let the dogs do their “business." ('cuz I’m not walkin’ nobody in the frigid darkness of a winter dawn.)

…to whine and bitch and complain incessantly until May.