Or... mindLESSness.
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Exhibit A |
The relentless chatter in my brain causes me ceaseless frustration.
Yoga, meditation, just simple awareness of breath... I struggle with it all. My
mind simply refuses to shut the f--k up!
With day to day routine stuff, this mindlessness – not being present –
most often results in little more than forgetting where I put my keys or
spending extra time awake at night because the brain still wants to "go
over stuff" with me before it will let me rest.
Yesterday's task, getting all fancy with the slicing and dicing, however, was not "routine" and required complete mindful awareness. (See Exhibit A.)
This pinball machine in my skull and
hence, lack of complete focus in the moment, caused Exhibit B. (Yes, those are my
fingertips.)
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Exhibit B |
Did I learn my lesson?
Probably not, unfortunately. (For example, NOW my mind is repeating
over and over "YOU STUPID ASS...YOU STUPID ASS.")
Anyway, below is the photo documentation of my visit to the ER. (The doc kindly let me take snapshots with my iPhone whilst getting cleaned-up
and stitched-up.) Heck, I needed some material for my blog anyway! And I'm sure
I'll learn how to do stuff with my left hand over the next several days of
healing. For example, I moved the mouse over to the left side of the keyboard
and I’m pecking away at the keys using my left hand and right index finger.
(Ugn! This is taking for-evah! And the throbbing in my tip-less fingers sure
does suck.)
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My tip-less ring finger. |
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Doc calls this "irrigation." |
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Some kind of gel pad to stop the bleeding. |
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Dr. Krasner doing his good work. (The pinkie could be stitched because, unlike my ring finger, it had enough flesh left to stitch together. The missing chunk on my ring finger must wait out the healing with time.) |
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Finished stitching. |
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My moment of stupid ass-ness sinks-in. (sigh) |
To end this little blog about mindlessness (and stupid ass-ness), I am proclaiming yes, in one way I DID learn a valuable lesson… Each moment in this precious life is a gift. I am going to try much harder to be fully present and aware in my days…breathing-in the life that is mine; the life I will not have forever.And many, many thanks to Dr. Krasner and the other good folks at Framingham Union Hospital's ER who took care of me with great patience (and without judgement!)
Namaste.